Living Once Again

This is a project to find beauty and joy again. Since the passing of two of my oldest friends, one of then also being my beloved boyfriend, life has been lackluster and dull. I will start anew and try again.

Telling a guy the real reasons you’re not interested — you don’t find him attractive, he’s way too old for you, you get a distinctly creepy vibe off him, whatever — or offering no explanation at all, because you just met this guy and owe him nothing, would be “rude.” And thanks to the conditioning Harriet describes, exhibiting the slightest hint of “rudeness” to any stranger who approaches you with sex on his mind makes you feel not like a normal human being with healthy boundaries, but a mean, frigid, stuck-up bitch. Worse yet, sometimes, the same man who called you beautiful and offered to buy you a drink ten seconds ago will turn aggressive when you say you’re not interested; he’ll tell you flat out you’re a bitch, or a whore, or less printable things. He’ll reject your rejection by getting in your face and losing his temper. So really, it’s a lot safer and simpler to say, “Look, you’re a nice guy, but no thanks/I have a boyfriend/I can’t.

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